How to keep a loved one's voice: record it while they tell their story

We keep the photographs. We keep the letters, the handwritten recipes, grandad's watch. But ask families who have lost someone what they are most afraid of losing, and one answer comes up again and again: "What scares me is forgetting their voice." The slightly husky laugh, the way they said your name, the accent that came back whenever they talked about home.

A voice doesn't fit in a photo album. It has to be recorded, and all that takes is a phone, an hour and a good question. This guide shows you how to do it, who to do it with, and above all what to get them talking about, so that you end up with more than a thirty-second voice note.

You'll find seven ways to record a loved one's voice, the questions that get people talking, honest answers to the most common hesitations, and how to turn those hours of voice into something the whole family can keep.

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Why a voice fades before a face

A face, you can see again. It's in the photos, the home videos, sometimes a painting on the wall. You refresh it without even noticing. A voice, on the other hand, has almost never been kept. It lived in everyday conversation (the Sunday phone call, the chat over dinner, a remark called out from the kitchen), and it disappears along with it.

That's why so many bereaved people describe the same experience. For the first few months, the voice is still there, intact. Then one day, trying to hear it in your head, you can't quite manage it. You remember what they said, but no longer how they said it.

What's missing at that point isn't information. It's a presence. And that is exactly what a recording keeps: the hesitations, the breathing, the laugh that interrupts the sentence, the turns of phrase nobody uses any more. Writing passes on a story; a voice passes on the person telling it.

There is good news, though. Unlike so many things we regret not doing, this one is simple, costs next to nothing, and can be done this week.

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The Raconteo memoir book, in brief

This guide covers every way to keep a voice, with or without us. Here is ours, in a few lines, for readers who already want to go further.

How it works. Your loved one answers questions about their life (childhood, work, love, children), out loud or in writing, at their own pace, on a phone, tablet or computer. Their answers become the chapters of a real book, written in the first person and true to the way they speak, then printed and bound.

And the voice? In the coming weeks, Raconteo will also let you keep the recordings themselves: answers given out loud will be available to listen to again, and a QR code printed in the book will let anyone hear them from an ordinary phone. A book to read, and soon to listen to as well.

What it costs. €89, paid once: the questions, the writing of the chapters, the layout, the bound book and delivery within Europe. Each extra copy for another family member costs €39. No subscription quietly renewing, no charges added at the end. And you can start for free, to see whether your loved one takes to it before paying anything at all.

"The printed book is stunning quality."

See the price and what's included

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7 ways to record a loved one's voice

From the simplest to the most structured. None of them needs special equipment: the phone in your pocket is more than enough.

1. Your phone's voice recorder, on the table

The most underrated method. Voice Memos (iPhone) or Recorder (Android) is already installed. Put the phone about a foot away from your loved one, screen down so they forget it's there, and talk as you normally would.

The tip that changes everything: don't call it an "interview". Say something like "I'd love to keep this, do you mind if I record?" Most people agree, and forget about the phone within five minutes.

2. A recorded phone call

If you live far apart, the weekly call is a ready-made opportunity. Put the call on speaker and record it on a second device (a tablet, an old phone), or use your phone's call recording feature if it has one. Always tell your loved one first: nobody should be recorded without knowing.

3. A recorded video call

Zoom, Teams and Google Meet can all record a conversation. You get the voice and the face, which is precious. The downside: your loved one needs to be comfortable in front of a screen, and quality depends on their connection.

4. The family meal, in the background

Some of the most treasured recordings don't answer any question at all. A phone left in the middle of the table at a birthday lunch captures the laughter, the affectionate bickering, the stories the family has been telling for forty years. The sound won't be perfect. That doesn't matter: it's life as it really was.

5. Reading aloud for the grandchildren

Ask your mother to read the bedtime story she used to read to you, or your grandfather to sing the song from his army days. This is often the gentlest way to record someone who doesn't like talking about themselves: they aren't telling their life story, they're giving a present to their grandchildren.

6. Voice messages, to save right now

You probably already have your loved ones' voices, scattered across WhatsApp or your voicemail. Those messages vanish when you change phones or an account is closed. Export them today: in WhatsApp, a long press on a voice message lets you share it or save it to your files.

7. A memory conversation, one question at a time

This method produces the most valuable recordings, because it captures not just a voice but a life told in that voice. A series of conversations, one question at a time, spread over several weeks. It's also the most demanding, and the easiest to abandon halfway. That is exactly the problem we set out to solve with Raconteo, by sending the questions one at a time and turning the answers into a book.

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What to ask: the questions that get people talking

A voice recording is only as good as what's in it. "Tell me about your life" almost never works: the question is too big, and your loved one will reply that they have "nothing interesting to say". Good questions are small, concrete and sensory.

To start gently

• "What was the house you grew up in like? What was in the kitchen?"
• "What did you eat on Sundays?"
• "Do you remember your first day at school?"

For the moments that mattered

• "How did you meet Mum? Who spoke first?"
• "What was your first pay packet, and what did you do with it?"
• "Which day of your life would you like to live again?"

For what they want to pass on

• "What would you like your great-grandchildren to know about you?"
• "What did you understand late in life that you wish you'd known at twenty?"

For more, we've put together full lists depending on who you're talking to: questions to ask your grandparents and questions to ask your parents before it's too late.

Two golden rules. Let silences last: the real memory often arrives after a pause. And follow up on details rather than facts. "What did that bakery smell like?" opens more doors than "What year was that?"

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Comparison: which method to choose

Method	Effort	Sound quality	What you keep	Best for
Voice recorder on the table	Very low	Good	A conversation	Everyone
Recorded phone call	Low	Fair	A conversation	Families living apart
Video call	Medium	Variable	Voice and face	Relatives at ease with screens
Family meal	Very low	Poor	The atmosphere, the laughter	Big family gatherings
Reading aloud	Low	Good	A story, a song	People who dislike talking about themselves
Voice messages	None	Good	Fragments	Do it straight away
Memory conversation	High	Good	A life story	Those who want to pass something on
Raconteo	Low, guided	Good	A book, and soon the voice	Those who want a book to keep

The methods aren't mutually exclusive. Saving voice messages this week and starting memory conversations next month is an excellent combination.

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"He'll never agree": the hesitations, one by one

What stops people recording a loved one is almost never technical. It's the things we tell ourselves, and don't always dare to say out loud.

"He'll never agree to being recorded"

This is the most common worry, and it rarely holds up once things are framed differently. Nobody likes "being interviewed". But almost everyone enjoys someone taking an interest in their youth. Don't ask "Can I record you?"; ask "What was it like on the farm?", then suggest recording once he's in full flow.

"She hates the sound of her own voice"

Almost everyone does. Reassure her: the recording isn't for her, it's for her grandchildren. And she never has to listen to it.

"It feels like talking about their death"

This is the reason people mention least, and the one that holds them back most. Offering to record someone can seem to say: I'm getting ready for you to be gone. It doesn't have to, if the intention changes. You aren't recording for afterwards. You're recording because their stories are wonderful now, and the grandchildren deserve to hear them first-hand. Many older people actually experience it as recognition: at last, someone wants to know. If the subject is delicate in your family, our guide to approaching difficult subjects may help.

"He can't use a smartphone"

He doesn't need to: you're the one holding the phone. And if he wants to tell his story on his own, all he needs to do is talk. It's entirely possible to tell your life story without writing or typing a single word.

"Can I answer on their behalf?"

For some memories, yes: you know stories they've told a hundred times. But for the voice, by definition, no. That is precisely what makes recording urgent.

"What if it's already too late?"

If your loved one has memory problems, it isn't necessarily too late. Older memories often last far longer than recent ones, and talking about childhood can even be soothing. We explain this in detail in our article on memories and Alzheimer's. And if your loved one has already died, the voice messages and videos you still have deserve to be saved today. They can also become part of a tribute book.

Still unsure? The simplest thing is to try a first question, without paying anything, and see how your loved one responds.

Try Raconteo for free

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Storing recordings so they last

A recording that lives on a single phone isn't stored: it's living on borrowed time. Three simple rules.

1. Two copies, two places. One on your computer or an external drive, one in cloud storage (iCloud, Google Drive and so on).
2. File names you can read. "Grandad, the farm in Norfolk, March 2026" rather than "Recording 47". In twenty years, nobody will know what "Recording 47" contains.
3. A format that doesn't depend on technology. Audio formats change, accounts close, passwords get lost. A printed book can still be read in fifty years. That's why, at Raconteo, the voice will be tied to the book with a QR code: the paper will keep the story, and show where to find the voice.

For more technical advice (microphones, formats, editing), our dedicated guide to recording memories as audio goes into detail.

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Giving the gift of a voice at Christmas

Christmas is when families gather round a table, which makes it, quite literally, the best moment of the year to record someone. It's also a lovely way to suggest the idea without it feeling heavy.

Two ways to go about it:

• Give your time. A card under the tree: "This year, I'd love you to tell me about your life. One Sunday a month, just the two of us." It costs nothing and means a great deal.
• Give the book. A Raconteo memoir book, which your loved one fills in at their own pace over the winter, and which the whole family receives in print. Grandchildren can even suggest their own questions.

A word of honesty: printing and delivery take longer in December, and it's the complaint that comes up in our less enthusiastic reviews. For Christmas, give the gift on Christmas Day, and let the book follow. That also gives your loved one time to tell their story. Raconteo is rated 4.8/5 from 127 reviews: you can read them all, including the less glowing ones.

If you're looking for more festive ideas, our guides to a Christmas gift for grandparents and a Christmas gift for elderly parents bring them together.

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Frequently asked questions

How can I keep the voice of a loved one who has died?

Gather everything that still exists: voice messages (WhatsApp, landline voicemail), home videos, answerphone greetings, recordings from parties. Export them to a computer quickly, because they often disappear when a device is replaced or an account is closed. Then make two copies, kept in two different places.

What equipment do I need to record my grandparents' voices?

A smartphone is enough. Its microphone is more than good enough for a conversation in a quiet room. Place it about a foot away, on something soft (a tea towel) to avoid vibrations, and switch off the television.

How much recording do I need?

There's no minimum: an hour of conversation is already worth infinitely more than nothing. But regularity is what creates richness. Several short sessions of twenty to thirty minutes are less tiring than one long one, and each one brings back more memories than the last.

Do I need the person's permission to record them?

Yes, always. Recording someone without their knowledge breaks the trust that makes these conversations possible, and may be unlawful depending on where you live. Asking permission is often the best way to get the conversation started anyway.

Does Raconteo keep my loved one's voice?

Today, Raconteo turns spoken answers into written chapters that stay true to the way your loved one speaks. Keeping the recordings themselves, to listen to again via a QR code printed in the book, is coming in the next few weeks.

How much does a Raconteo memoir book cost?

€89, paid once, with the bound book and delivery included in Europe, and no subscription. Each extra copy costs €39. You can start for free before deciding. Full details are on our pricing page.

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A voice can't be replaced. But it can be kept, as long as you don't wait.

Give the Raconteo memoir book